Parry's Thoughts

I was asked to step in and take over the leadership of Cyberangels. I told them that I could only do it for a few weeks until they could find someone else to run it Then someone sent me a tip of a child pornogprahy site, and I found a young girl being raped. It changed my life, and I called Curtis and agreed to run the place. Now, more than a year later, I can finally find the time to update this site, and focus on more than Cyberangels. We have more than 1000 volunteers and the best crew of executives anywhere. Now it's time for the UNESCO Wired Kids project and Familyguidebook. And the new book is finished! The Parent's Guide to Protecting Children in Cyberspace, published by McGraw-Hill will be released in January, 2000.

I was one of four main speakers at the White House Summit on Children's Content Online. I had the best time and learned so much about what's happening in the content front. I remember last year at the White House Online Safety Summit everyone was lamenting the fact that there wasn't the wealth of good content online that parents had hoped for. How far we've come!

We've just launched PIE (Parents' Internet Education) in Baltimore County. Tons of families showed up to take the online safety and Internet training calsses and attend our Internet Fair! What started out as a dream of Della Curtis became reality! (To find out more about Della and her programs, click here.

At all my websites, I have a habit of sharing my ideas, on the index page, and making it impossible to find anything else...so I gave myself this page just to share thoughts, ideas and things that are going on. (If you want to know more about me...click here.)

Yesterday I was the keynote speaker at an Internet event held in Long Island, NY. It was well-publicized and had community support, yet, only a handful of people came. And this isn't an isolated occurrence. Many other similar events have reported far fewer attendees than you would have expected.

Yet, one-to-one, parents seem to be very interested in learning about the Internet, especially about how to keep themselves and their children safe online.

If you promote the scare tactics, parents come. I spoke at an event in San Diego on February 1st this year. It was heavily promoted by a local radio talkshow host, with a conservative and slightly older following. At least eight hundred people came, and all stayed for the eight hours the conference went on.

Is it just that the scare tactics scare parents into attending? Isn't the great stuff available online enough to attract an audience? Last year, more than 55 million people in the US reported that they either wanted to get online or learn more about it...where are those people when community groups try to set up Internet training and expos?

Last night I spoke at a small community meeting in Richfield, N.J. I followed a long line of police officers who were describing events that had occurred over the last month. They honored a woman who had witnessed a robbery of an old woman from her kitchen window. This woman reported a complete description of the robber (alleged robber, I am a lawyer, after all <g>) and enabled the robber (alleged) to be apprehended. The elderly woman who was robbed was too frightened and her eye-sight was too limited to be of much help in describing her assailant.

Funny...I was amazed at this day and age that anyone would get involved. It is very special when a community, as a whole, cares about other members of its community.

Getting involved is what online safety and child advocacy is all about. Woman, like Mrs. Venetti from Richfield, N.J. should be commended. And the rest of us need to get involved enough that being involved isn't a reason for surprise and special awards. It's what we should all do...

Check with some local groups...find out what you can do to make the lives of children in your community and elsewhere a little bit kinder and safer...and hopeful. Drop me an e-mail and tell me what you're doing...Oprah has her Angel Network...there's no reason why we can't have our own network of concerned and motivated people.

If you need a suggestion...drop in at the SOC-UM site, and send Debbie Mahoney (their founder and Chair) an e-mail. Tell her "Parry sent you..."

I was honored by the State of New Jersey as part of women in history month....click here to read about it. I've been thinking lately about all the terrific women I know.

The book would never have been written without the help of lots of these women...No one wanted anything from me...they just were there when I needed help. They inspired me, and fed me, and edited my writing, and researched things for me, and marked up my galley, and helped make my dream a reality...

Debbie Mahoney was asked by Oprah to appear on an upcoming show. Debbie and I sat there, amazed at how far we had come, munching on buffalo wings deep into the night. A few weeks before we were at a private Senate briefing. And then I was on Good Morning America! Amazing...

My dearest and best friend, Lanell, takes my phone calls at all hours, and listens with far more caring than any paid counselor. Everyone else takes a back seat to my needs...the book was her idea. The cover photo was too. She is a special person. blessed in a special way.

My daughter is a warm and wonderful woman. She's one of my finest accomplishments (along with my son, but I'm only honoring women now...<g>)

My sister, the doctor, who helps parents online with all the special pediatric advice she has...ParentTime, on AOL's Thrive...funny and smart...

Then, there is little Lisa...I met her for the first time this week. I'll share more about that with you once I have a photo developed...she is so gorgeous. The Chicago Tribune wrote an article about her and about Roads Without Ramps, which she inspired....I'll share that too shortly.

Although there are many special men in my life...I want to dedicate this page to the women who make the world run...

I'm an Internet lawyer. That means I advise corporation about risks relating to having a website, or using cyberspace and e-mail in the workplace. I sue companies which steal others' names, violate others' privacy rights and do anything else that they shouldn't be doing to our clients in cyberspace. Before that, I worked at a huge Wall Street law firm in New York. I still have an office in Moscow, Russia and conduct an international law practice. I also run the largest functioning virtual law firm.

I am a mother of two, but was ill-prepared for my newfound role s an activist in the area of children safety online and as an opponent of child pornography, pedophilia and other abuses of children. (Actually, I hadn't considered myself an "activist" but on Good Morning America, Gina Smith called me a child safety activist, and I kinds like the way that sounds. I was raised in the Sixties, after all. <g>)

Yet, once I started writing A Parents' Guide to the Internet, I met some pretty extraordinary people. People like Debbie Mahoney, who heads SOC-UM (Safeguarding Our Children - United Mothers). I'll be sharing some things about Debbie with you over the next few weeks. Together with Gordon Ross (CEO of Net Nanny) and members of the U.S. Customs' sex abuse and child pornography task force, a few weeks ago Debbie and I addressed a special group of Senators and Senate aids in a briefing on the Hill.

A national crime prevention show sent a film crew to shoot Debbie (with me walking next to her<g>) during the day of the briefing. (I'll tell you more about that another time.)

I can blame and thank Debbie for getting me involved deeply in kids safety and abuse issues. (My law firm isn't crazy about her inspiration.<g>)

Somehow, when you hear the stories about one-month old infants being sexually abused, or live Internet video feed of a 60-year-old man abusing an eight-year-old girl and getting e-mail suggestions from other pedophiles about what he should be doing to her next, everything else that seemed so important in your life and career fades into the background.

This newfound activism has created some conflicts for me. I'm a free speech advocate. I also hate when people focus on the bad stuff online. At every speaking engagement, I emphasize that the bad stuff comprises only about 3-5% of Internet and online content, but gets 95% of the press. I'm not criticizing the press. It's important that we get the word out on online risks in order to control them. But we need to spend time sharing the good things about the Internet too...

I'll try to strike the balance between the good stuff and the bad stuff at the site. But remember that the Internet is the very first chance every single person on earth has to be a publisher, share ideas and dreams and own a worldwide soapbox. That's pretty extraordinary. If we keep our eyes open, learn not to be intimidated by computers and the Internet and help each other as we enter this new virtual world...we'll be able to enjoy it safely.

And if I get a few more of you to devote some time and attention to keeping children safe on the ground and in cyberspace...I've done the most important thing I ever could do. (Except for raising my children to be wonderful young adults.) Debbie is always looking for volunteers and needs a few corporate sponsors. Drop her an e-mail at her site, and tell her "Parry sent you." Together we may be able to save a single child from pain, abuse and fear.