What Reviewers and Others Are Saying About A Parents' Guide to the Internet

• US News & World Report Online...click here to read it.
• "Parry Aftab has written the definitive guide for parents, teachers and everyone else eager to tap the treasures of our increasingly networked world.

  Although she discusses some very real dangers in cyberspace, she deftly avoids hysteria and hype, presenting instead common sense solutions and practical strategies.

  Free of technospeak, Aftab's book reads like advice from a trusted friend, one whose warmth and humor blends smoothly with her technical expertise." Vic Sussman, free lance writer, speaker, author, former senior editor of cyberspace, U.S. News and World Report, former director Internet programming of America Online. To e-mail Vic Sussman, click here.

• "The book is great. Informative... Wonderful style with great sense of humor." Jon Belmont, WABC Talk Radio
• Since I was directly impacted by a "predator" online - one that lured my sister away from her home for four long months - I found [the chapter"An Anatomy of a Pedophile"] especially interesting. Thank you for including this important synopsis in your book. You are right...if parents don't know how a pedophile builds the child's "trust", there is a much greater likelihood of online victimization. I was also pleased to see that you pointed out that the "lonely" child...the computer "geek", if you will, is often the target of these predators. It's as if they can pick up the "scent" of loneliness through the words displayed by the child on the computer. By helping the parents understand the tactics of these pedophiles, you are more than likely preserving the innocence of some little one you don't even know personally. How wonderful!"

  "Furthermore, your book makes the internet - usually a big mystery to many adults - attainable and fun. I came away from the [kids online]summit wondering which groups would truly grasp what "empowering the parents" meant, and which groups would find a way to translate that in layman's terms to the general public. I was concerned that too many were assuming that these parents (who we want to "empower") know the basics of computers. And the real fact of the matter is, many of them don't even know how to turn one on!!! All this to say that, your book is absolutely wonderful. Clear, concise, funny and easy-to-read. You clearly understand what it takes to educate the average parent, and I hope that many will obtain a copy of your book and read it front cover to back cover." Tracey O'Connell-Jay, Southern California Chapter Coordinator Internet Safety Specialist/Prevention Education Child Quest International To reach Child Quest International, click here.(Tracey was the woman who shared the story on how her teenaged sister had been convinced to meet a sexual predator face-to-face, whom she had met online. It had a substantial impact on the attendees of the Washington D.C. Internet Online Summit: Focus on Children.)

• The Richmond Times Dispatch, December 3, 1997, Wednesday, CITY EDITION, Pg. B-1, 514 words, KIDS KNOW ONLINE LIKE PARENTS NEED TO, Ray McAllister; Readers can write Ray McAllister at The Times-Dispatch, Box 85333,; Richmond Va. 23293, or 775-8028 (fax), or to contact him by e-mail.

  The Internet fuss - parents worried about their kids online - reminds me of that. When it comes to computers, kids and parents are speaking different languages.

  Our kids know what they're talking about.

  In fact, the CEO of an Internet screening service said this week that many parents are so far behind on the technology, they are "the lost generation."

  He was speaking at a three-day conference in Washington. Vice President Al Gore announced there yesterday that the online industry will begin removing child pornography and reporting it to law enforcement officials.

  A step, no doubt.

  But we parents need to learn the language.

  Let me say up front: I'm the furthest thing from an expert. About all I know is there are two general areas of concern - communications with questionable people and sites with questionable material.

  Oh, I know a third thing:

  No one's going to be able to regulate it all anytime soon - nor would we necessarily want them to.

  Maybe that's four things.

  So it's up to us to act like parents. (I know. I hate it, too. )

  It's easier than you might think. I spent a short time yesterday and got reams of information - off the Internet itself.

  You can start with a primer on safety tips (www.smartparent.com has one of many [note that these are A Parents' Guide's tips...]). The gist is that children should learn never to give out personal information over the Internet nor meet in person anyone they've met on the Internet - at least not unless it's in a public place, with an adult present.

  Pretty simple.

  Very important.

  The site question is a bag of worms - but you sometimes can round up the worms. If you have an Online server like AOL, Erol's, etc., they have devices to screen out non-children's sites. There's software that can be bought. And there are various services.

  Most screeners use the sites' own ratings. At least one I found yesterday, Net Shepherd (www.netshepherd.com), has its own criteria and user input.

  You can find this stuff and much more just by using links from one site to another.

  Parry Aftab, who wrote "A Parents' Guide to the Internet" (www.familyguidebook.com), "talks" online about the futility of thinking someone can regulate the World Wide Web for us:

  "That's why I'm suggesting that parents use other ways of keeping their children away from objectionable material. They should be using technology, not regulation, to enforce each parents' choices. Your kids also shouldn't be locked in their room with their computers. The computer should be located in a central family location."

  She also says, "the computer is not a baby sitter. You should be computing with your children."

  Well, maybe we don't always need to do that.

  But we do need to be able to tell the pope from a potato."

• MSNBC, Parry's interview by Soledad O'Brien on A Parents' Guide to the Internet. Sunday, November 30, 1997.
• Today New York, Parry's interview on A Parents' Guide and online safety tips. November 20, 1997.
• WWOR (NY Channel 9 News...UPN) Various interviews on child internet safety.
• Inside Edition...Online Prostitution, Parry is interviewed on internet law.
• CNN International...Parry is interviewed on internet publishing.
• The Record (Bergen County, NJ), December 7, 1997; SUNDAY; ALL EDITIONS, NEWS; Pg. A01, 945 words, AGENCIES JOIN TO FIGHT INTERNET CHILD PORN THREE EFFORTS FOCUS ON COOPERATION, MARY JANE FINE and DEBRA LYNN VIAL, Staff Writers
• CNN, CNN MORNING NEWS 09:00 am ET, December 3, 1997; Wednesday 9:07 am Eastern Time, Transcript # 97120307V09, INTERVIEW, News; Domestic, 647 words, Parry Aftab Discusses "A Parent's Guide to the Internet", Parry Aftab, Bobbie Battista
• The Record (Bergen County, NJ)
  November 9, 1997; SUNDAY; ALL EDITIONS
  HEADLINE: THE INTERNET STRANGER DANGER TALK
  COLUMN: THE PRESSURED PARENT
  BYLINE: MARY AMOROSO [Mary is also the Host of Family Talk, an Ace-award winning Comcast cable show for parents. Parry appears regularly on Family Talk.]
  

  " BODY: The story of the murder of 11-year-old Eddie Werner of Jackson Township as he did fund-raising work for the local PTA was horrible enough.

  But then we learned that the 15-year-old accused in Eddie's death was also a victim, allegedly molested by a man he met on the Internet, in an America Online homosexual chat room.

  Parry Aftab, a Paramus lawyer specializing in computer issues and author of"A Parent's Guide to the Internet...and How to Protect Your Children in Cyberspace"(SC Press), says the young suspect fits a familiar profile.

  "These kids are loners,"she said."They have problems making friends. Their parents give them a computer because it keeps them busy, keeps them happy, keeps them out of the parents hair. The kids spend a great deal of time on the computer and find someone who wants to be their friend. Unfortunately, these are often people who want to take advantage of the kids."

  Enter a new breed of pedophile: The cyber predator. How do you protect your kids? You've got to follow them on line, monitor where they're going and with whom they're chatting.

  You've also got to give them the same"stranger danger"advice you gave them when they were smaller and preparing to walk or ride their bikes without parental supervision: Simply put, people who seem nice may be trying to hurt or entrap you. People may not be who they claim they are, and they may lie about their age, their identity, and their motives. People may work hard to coax personal information from you because they want to take advantage of you; never give out your real name or address or any family credit card information. And never meet with anyone you've connected with on line, unless you've cleared it with your parents first.

  It's another cautionary speech for a parent to give, and Aftab recommends you follow it up with a written contract that allows a child to go on line if he agrees to certain principles. Those would include healthy limits to the time the child spends on the computer, a promise not to use bad or defamatory language, and the agreement that the child will take the precautions you've talked about in terms of sharing personal information and meeting cyber strangers in person.

  I had a strange feeling the other day when I called up my e-mail and found a note from a self-described hard-core (that's music) vegan (that's extreme vegetarian)"chick."I wondered where my 15-year-old son Matt had been on line and where he had left our e-mail address.

  Other tips from Aftab about defensive cyber parenting:

  • Don't store your credit card information on your computer. It's too much of a temptation to computer-literate kids and their friends.
  • Don't share your passwords or store them where they can easily be found. Don't use obvious passwords that your child can figure out; change your passwords frequently.
  • Keep the computer in a central family location, not in your child's room.
  • Make sure you can see what's on the monitor, and let your children know you look at it from time to time.
  • Wander through your hard drive and floppy disks from time to time, especially looking for downloaded images, easily spotted because they usually end with either" jpg"or" GIF."Let your children know you do this.
  • Screen younger children's e-mail and sit with them when they're in any non-child unsupervised chat rooms. Make sure they know the chat room rules and where to report violations.

  There is a variety of software available that can filter out objectionable material or block access to pornographic sites. Aftab's book offers information on a number of these programs.

  She is especially positive about Net Shepherd, which uses volunteers to rate hundreds of thousands of Web sites, using classifications such as"general," "child,""preteen,""teen,"and "adult."The software can block or allow access to Web sites based on ratings that account for violence, nudity, sex, and language.

  But Aftab says no parent should expect software to be your child's ultimate guardian on the Internet. There's no substitute for a parent's watchfulness." You can reach Mary Amoroso in care of The Record, 150 River St., Hackensack, N.J. 07601, by phone at (201) 646-4388, by fax at (201) 646-4047, or by e-mail at www.bergen.com. Please give your name and number so she can talk to you. She will not use your name in print, if you would prefer that.

• The Record (Bergen County, NJ), October 15, 1997; WEDNESDAY; ALL EDITIONS, NEWS; Pg. A01, 1014 words, BLOCKING AN AVENUE FOR SEX OFFENDERS ; BILL WOULD BAR THEM FROM GOING ON LINE, ROBERT GEBELOFF, Staff Writer
• The Record (Bergen County, NJ), September 26, 1997; FRIDAY; ALL EDITIONS, BUSINESS; Pg. B01, 1166 words, CYBERSPACE STAKES HIGH, ROBERT GEBELOFF, Staff Writer
• Current Issues in Media and Telecommunications Law symposium by Parry Aftab, Preeta Bansal, David Goldin, James Goodale, Chris Hansen, Theodore Hirt, Gregg Jarrett, Robert Joffe, Nicholas Jollymore, David Pawlick, Robert Perry, Charles Rose, Ned Rosenthal, William Small, Andrew Sims, Randall Turk, and L. Lin Wood, 7 Fordham Intellectual Property, Media & Entertainment Law Journal 389 (1997)
• The Record, June 27, 1997; FRIDAY, NEWS; 1 Star ; Pg. A13, 943 words, FILTERING ON-LINE SMUT ISN'T EASY ; COURT RULING PERPLEXES PARENTS, ROBERT GEBELOFF, Staff Writer
• The Record, June 8, 1997; SUNDAY; ALL EDITIONS, NEWS; Pg. A01, 1186 words, E-NOUGH ALREADY ; COMPUTER USERS DECLARING WAR ON JUNK E-MAIL, ROBERT GEBELOFF, Staff Writer
• CNN, CNN TODAY 13:00 PM ET, March 19, 1997; Wednesday 2:11 PM Eastern Time Transcript # 97031907V13, INTERVIEW, News; Domestic, 1854 words, Products Offered To Parents To Screen Internet, Parry Aftab, Miles O'Brien

The other reviews are being added shortly, since this section is still being constructed. Look back each day to find more.